Some say a strange light was seen in the sky over the Barony St John church followed by men in black holding pens with lights on them.
Some say a boat load of illegal immigrants led by Donald Trump sought refuge in the church.
Others say an international terrorist hiding in the church was taken out by the SAS who abseiled through a belfry window.
All I know is that there were 3 police cars, 2 fire engines and two Council vehicles.
There was a police presence from 11.30am and the area was sealed off with road blocks from 3pm.
The “official” line is that it was a broken window.